yani

Hey long time I have not been online, just wanted to tell my team the cats and all my buddies thankyou for being so supportive.  I really appreciate you guys and learned to love you like my family, I might not be online that often but it doesn’t mean that I forgot about you all I carry you very close to my hearts.  As you know I am still in stage 1 from my surgery, I am doing good the soreness and pain is less as each day passes, the weight is dropping.  I will be seeing my Dr. tomarrow, and hopefully my blood levels are ok and I’ll be comming back home.  So please send a prayer my way so everything comes out ok.  If you have any  questions just email me I will try my best to update you guys atleast once a week.  I do maintain a daily contact with my friend Kama  “I love you by the way.” you are a very special women and I been blessed to have you as my friend. I continue with my education online not easy but possible I am in my finals in English and Computers class my next class is Algebra and it starts on the 12 of this week.

I love you kitties…….

This is Leo the guy I was telling you guys about…..

 I am doing fine I started my classes online my Bachelor’s in Health Science….

I’ve lost weight…..and I keep on doing so….

miss all my kitties…..but soon I will learn to manage everything at once….

how do i deal with my compulsive emotional eating

i journal the very moment i start feeling overwhelmed….i really don’t know what has

trigged this feeling yet so i need to get to the bottom of it…all i know that food in the

past has made me feel at ease and fills that void.

I write how i am feeling at that moment because it helps me identify why i am feeling

the way i am feeling

at the moment i am writing without stoping i just want to feel relief and only writing in

down helps me to clear my mind and ease the pain that is causing me to wanna stuff

myself.  all i know that i want what ever emotion that is causing this pain to stop.

after writing how i feel and why then helps me understand me, what trigged this

emotion and at the end helps me to realize that at that moment that i had control of

the situation….
And that is the begining of CHANGING OLD HABITS
i notice that no longer my emotions are going to be stonger than my desire to

CHANGE
so what i want to say that writing has become my best friend in dealing with my

emotions….feelings and void…..and that i finally can say i can control this feeling not

the feeling control me….because i am worth fighting  for……

my grandbaby hailey and meme today at 254

me at 289

i really been paying attention to my feelings….and so far i have not have one of those crazy moments when i just need to stuff my face to feel satisfied….for those who don’t know me their are days when my daughter’s leave and i am home alone for some reason to fill the void i start eating like a crazy even thou is healthy food but still the calories pack up….but since i started sp in conjunction with bs  i am able to really pay attention to the breakdown of calories,fat and protein. emotionally i feel great for once in my life i feel i can do this…break this bad habit….i am able to focus on me more …on how i can lose this weight now that i have this eating under control and i hope it stays like that….i need to then focus on moving and burning fat…….one thing i notice is that writing in my journal thru out the day help me fight this addiction….i got this down pack and tasting victory feel so good….i notice that last month i bought a pair of short 22-23 and they are lose i really am noticing the difference…i am working out hard….and when i start getting stress out i just go and run to my procardio machine instead of the fridge like i used to…..funny isn’t…..

i will finish this blog with this quote….

“There is power and courage inside each one of us, waiting for an excuse to escape.”

A Mothers Love

To some love is just a word
To me it’s a feeling
A feeling I get every time I look into your eyes
A feeling I get when I realize your my mom
A mom who loves, shares, A mom who inspires
Unconditionally
What’s that?
That’s love
A mothers love, but only you would know
And me
You returned that love time and time again
Possibly to much, nevertheless you did
Thank-you
Thank-you for being there when I needed you most
For being my rock when I should have been yours
Thank-you for believing in me, even when I doubted myself
For being the one person I could trust
No matter what, no matter where
But most of all thank-you for being you-my mom
A mom I am so proud to claim
I love you
Now and forever

 MY ROCK
(Mom)

Sometimes I catch myself
Thinking, “When I phone,
I can talk of this or that!”
Then remember, I’m alone.

Now, the ravages of time
Have worn my “rock” away -
And all I have to cling to
Are memories of yesterday

Mothers and Daughters

We’re daughters and mothers
Not so long ago.
We give and take
And take and give
Along time’s endless row.
Love is passed
And love received
To be passed on again:
A precious heirloom
Twice, twice blessed,
A spiritual cardigan.

So may our love
Go on and on,
A hundred thousand years;
Mothers and daughters,
Daughters and mothers,
Through joys and other tears.

Knowing How To Overcome Failure Is Part Of Being Successful

“Failure.”
It’s only a word.
But it carries with it so much pain
and so little concern,
so much frustration
and so little respect,
so much stress and so little
understanding
that people spend their lives
running through their days
in the hope of avoiding the long arm
of this little word.

To test your vision, you must risk
failure.

To temper your ego, you must attempt
the impossible.

To tell your story, you must
take a chance.

To see beyond the horizon, you must
spread your wings.

To be all you can be, you must
stretch, flex, try, and go beyond
your proven limits.

To bridge the silence, you must risk
rejection.

To advance into the unknown, you must
risk the peril of all your
previous beliefs and emotions
that feel so secure.

Failure is not negative. It is a teacher.
It molds, refines, and polishes you
so that one day your light will
shine for all to see.

It isn’t the failure you experience
that will determine your destiny,
but your next step and then the next
that will tell
the story of your life.

- Tim Connor -

Special People

A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry. The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them.

One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said: “This will make it better.” Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story.

Why? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

wow by the time i got home my buttocks where numb….my heals hurt so much i just barely was walking home from the bus stop….we got there at 11 am and left at 430…pm…well i got home at 730 pm….very tired….but very proud of myself……i pushed myself to the maxed but didn’t give up….even when we got to the second bus stop….we had an option to take a rhird bus and leave us in front of the house or take a second bus and walk 5 more blocks…..i didn’t think twice i was exausted but was up for the challenge….i seriouly was at the end draging myself…..but guess what made it thru…..even thou my body….paying the price….

as i was waiting for access- ride…i started to reflect in how happy i was when i was attenting church, hear gospel and praise him, when i use to read my bible and talk to God daily…and pray…….one excuse led to another excuse into i stop it completely. why if all that brought into my life joy…and peace….